24 Hours of LeMons: You Got Moke'd!!

The Moke

I had planned to drive at LeMons "Button Turrible" event at the end of September with my friend Bill who has a Yugo (see my original Yugo story here). Unfortunately Bill couldn't bring the Yugo, but Mike "Spank" Spangler again came to the rescue, and brought his Mini Moke to the event for us to drive.

Here's what one of these wonderful vehicles looked like new:

And, here's what Spank showed up with:

This particular Moke has seen many LeMons races. According to Spank, "It should have died a few races ago." Hmmm. OK.

The Moke has certainly seen better days, but hey, this is what LeMons racing is all about - bring a really crappy car to the track and try to get it to run long enough to make two full days of racing. Spank fully embraces the "lemons" part of LeMons, and I commend him for it. The Moke did seem fairly mechanically sound... and, it's got some, er, "cosmetic issues"....

This should be fun!

Friday: Testing

I arrived early on Friday morning with my coworker-friend Justin. Neither of us had driven at Buttonwillow before and we needed to get some time on the track, both to learn how the Moke responds and to learn the track layout.

Before we could get out, we had to weld a new piece into the exhaust. Oh, and paint on new numbers. Given some past LeMons experiences, this was pretty easy. After the welding and painting and passing the car through tech inspection, we had Spank take it out for a trial run in the early afternoon.

When he returned, he said it was running really hot. We let it cool a bit but I was anxious to get out there so I took it out before we tried doing any work to it.

On the track, the Moke is... well, slow. Not *super* slow, just slow. The Yugo was actually faster. The Moke is also heavier, thanks mainly to all the steel that's been welded on under the frame and the full cage. Spank estimated it weighs about 1800 pounds, and that it makes around 60-ish horsepower. Sounds about right.

Even so, once you get used to its handling the Moke is actually really fun to drive. It wallows about some (about the same as the Yugo did) but does quite well on the track.

When I got back it was running hot again, and after Justin took it out and came back with it running hot we decided to try some mods. Spank made the rounds and found a heater core from a Miata. We installed it inline where the old heater core would have been, and zip-tied the core to the front of the Moke in the headlight hole:

I took it back out at the end of the day, and it ran a lot cooler. We were all set to race!

Saturday: Race Day One (or, "We don't have enough balls")

Early Saturday morning, Bill showed up and we all discussed who would go first. It was a pretty easy choice - Spank would take the first shift. We'd do about 2 hours each, which should end up spanning the first 8-hour race day.

Spank suited up and we got him strapped in and out on the track just a bit after the race started (we would have been on time, but none of us remembered we'd have to choke the engine to get it started... this after bolting on the hood). We watched him drive away and then settled in for a day of racing.

I decided to go out and watch the race for a bit. I watched Spank drive the Moke around the part of the track I was on, waited for a while for him to come around again, then waited some more.... and more. After about 10 minutes I decided to head back to the garage to see what's up. When I got there, Spank was back, and the Moke had some new unintended alignment issues:

Turns out the right front tie rod broke just as Spank was entering a corner. The entire right front wheel assembly spun forwards 180 degrees, tearing off the brake line, snapping some metal pieces, and pulling apart the CV joint. He was very lucky not to roll the Moke in the process.

The caliper is normally on the front side of the hub...

After a bit of "WTF Happened??" discussions we dove in to fix the damage. Spank was quite positive we could fix it and get back on track, and I was happy to have the opportunity to do more welding (I really like welding).

"We can fix it" - Spank

After quite a bit of time and effort, we had removed the broken pieces and I got to work welding some back together. In the meantime, Spank was contemplating his decision to leave several Moke parts at home in San Diego. Turns out he actually had full replacement parts for everything that was broken (including the weird brake line fittings) sitting at home. We decided to try to fix what we could to get back on track, and he'd get the parts later that night to fix it right for the second day of racing.

I welded the tie rod back together, and welded the other metal arm that had broken off:

We still had the problem of the torn brake line, and we also realized that when the CV joint popped out we lost 5 of the 6 big ball bearings that make it work. Many "Spank only has one ball" and similar jokes ensued. Bill made the rounds looking for balls with no luck. He then went around looking for brake line parts. I set out to see if I could find 5 replacement balls.

My kingom for 5 of these balls.

Some folks suggested the tractor supply store across the street. No luck there. Every place that the tractor supply guy suggested was closed on Saturdays. In desperation I started going through the pits, asking everyone I could find if they might have something that would work.

I did come close: a generous fellow dug out an axle assembly from some unknown vehicle, and when I looked, the bearings in it seemed about right. I brought it back to the garage and proceeded to cover both hands beyond my wrists in thick black gooey grease. But alas, the balls in the axle assembly were a bit too big (more "ball size" jokes). And Bill had no luck finding the strange brake line parts we needed. We were stuck. No racing for the day.

My personal "Hero of the entire event" award goes to Spank's wife. With a bit of help from one of Spank's friends, she collected the needed parts and headed north from San Diego. At the same time, Bill and Spank headed south, and they met up somewhere around Pasadena. All this so we could race on Sunday. Many many many thanks to Spank's incredible wife!!

Bill and Spank arrived back around 8pm, and we got right to work. By 11:30pm we had everything back together and ready for the track.

Sunday: Race Day 2

Ready for action!!!

Before we got on track on Sunday, we had to attend a special mandatory drivers' meeting. Seems that on Saturday there were far too many on-track incidents (the tow truck actually ran out of gas). Justin and I agreed it was probably a blessing in disguise that we didn't make it out on Saturday.

I got to take the Moke out first on Sunday. Well, that was the plan anyway. When we tried to warm it up, it ran for about 10 seconds and just stopped. It took us a while to figure out that the battery didn't have enough juice in it to keep the engine running. After charging it for a bit with a high powered charger, the Moke was again alive!

I managed to get my full drive in - 2 1/2 hours. The belts were really tight, and I couldn't adjust my seating position at all. After about 90 minutes my ass went numb. At about the 2 hour mark the tachometer broke and continually read 2Krpm. But the Moke soldiered on and didn't even get hot.


Justin got in his drive as well, but reported that the Moke was starting to run hotter.

When Bill took out the Moke, we were pretty confident that it would make it the rest of the day. It did, actually - but by the end of the race he was babying it around the track with smoke pouring out from under the hood. When he got back in the pits after the race was over, the temperature gauge was pegged full and the Moke was blowing a lot of smoke and steam out of the valve cover vents. But it made it!

This may have been the final race for the Moke. Spank and Bill surmised that there may be a major leak in the engine (hole in a piston, blown gaskets, something). I suppose time will tell.

I would like to thank everyone involved for another great LeMons experience. I'd like to thank Bill in particular for driving Spank down to Pasadena for the parts, Spank's wife for driving up to Pasadena with the parts, and of course Spank himself for giving me the opportunity to do this event at all, let alone all of his perserverance and help. Thanks everyone!